A Prayer To Guide Us Home
by elfmaiden4legs
Summary: Horatio is injured. How did it happen? And what exactly did Pellew do to save his life aboard the Indefatigable? Sorry I'm not very good at summeries but please R&R...
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE **

_**NOTE: I am very new to 'Hornblower' but love the show so much that I have already seen all the episodes and decided that I wanted to write my own fan fiction so I apologise if not all of the events depicted or names of ships etc are correct in the time line. I am mainly trying to capture the relationships between the characters as I see them in this fic. I hope you enjoy what you read.**_

Horatio could hear the shouts of his crewman as they fought for the freedom of the _Indefatigable_ and each other. He could hear the sound of gunfire from both sides, the cannons erupting all around him and was suddenly startled to realise that he couldn't see a thing… this instinct turned into blind panic when he realised that he also could not move.

He realised where he must be… and unconscious on deck with battle being carried out all around him was not a fortunate position to be in. With a sudden rush of strength and renewed energy at the knowledge that the lives of himself and his men were at risk if he stayed here much longer he heaved himself into a sitting position.

Suddenly a searing pain struck his abdomen and chest seeming to draw all the breath from within him. His eyes sprung open, wide with shock, each new breath he took now bringing on more pain. But as he adjusted more to his surroundings he realised that the shouting, the sounds of gunfire and cannon explosion had gone to be replaced by the not so familiar sound of seagulls outside his bedroom window that always signified their return to land. He was sitting up in bed… not a flimsy hammock like they had to put up with at sea but a proper bed. Then as he looked down he noticed it… the thick bandage wrapped tightly around his waist, slightly bloodied, and then he remembered…

Suddenly a noise beside him made him start and he turned to see Archie sitting in a chair only inches away from his bed, a blanket pulled up just over his knees, fast asleep. Horatio smiled, how long had his friend been keeping a vidual over his bed he wondered?

"Archie," he spoke, his voice coming out in a horse whisper, "Archie wake up." He reached out to touch his friend's hand, to try and let him know that he was awake, that he thought he was going to be all right but suddenly a wave of dizziness overtook him. He felt wet on his side and looked down to see that the patch of blood where his wound was was steadily growing. His chest began to feel tight, his forehead damp with sweat and a mysterious haze clouded his vision. He tried to compose himself, it wasn't a terrible amount of blood after all, but this was not brought on by panic. Suddenly his head began to spin, for longer this time and then everything went black.

Archie started awake as he heard his friend's head hit the pillow as he fell backwards. He was out of the chair and at his side in an instant.

"Horatio" he whispered. "Horatio it's me. I was sure I heard you calling my name in my sleep." Then he said almost to himself, "Oh God if only I hadn't fallen asleep… I'm sorry Horatio."

Archie had not left his friend's side since they had brought him off the ship in a collapsed and severely weakened state. Captain Pellew had been good enough to give him and a couple of the other men shore leave, at least until Hornblower regained consciousness. He himself had never failed to pay his Lefttennant a visit each day since they had docked at Portsmouth and always seemed disappointed at the news that the young man had yet failed to regain consciousness. Horatio had always been good to his men and during the ensuing week since his injury the news that he may never again regain consciousness had proved devastating to some of his closest friends. Styles and Mathews had taken to sitting outside his door at every free moment they could spare to ensure that he was not disturbed, and it had to be said that Styles in particular had not been afraid to use force if anyone had so much as dared to even sneeze outside his room. The doctor had been called for a couple of times in the first few days, but Pellew had not considered it necessary to put Hornblower through the continuing pain of physical examinations and drugging after he had seen that it was doing the young officer no good at all… and then he had done something that none of his crew had ever seen him do before, and doubted they would witness him do again. He had spent many hours with Horatio in the following critical days, talking to him, and sometimes just sitting in quiet contemplation. In the evenings he would return to his cabin and Archie would take over, sleeping close to his best friend and waking up frequently in the night to check on his condition. He himself had been close to exhaustion by the time the ship's look out had spotted land on the seventh day, and still he would not abandon his duty to his captain, nor to one of his closest friends. Bur for now he smiled briefly as he suddenly came to realise that Horatio was a man with many loyal friends.

Suddenly his attention was drawn to the growing patch of blood that had now begun to soak the blanket on the other side of the bed.

"Damn your stitches," Archie cursed as he sprang to his feet, convinced that he hadn't been there for his friend in his time of need and desperate to do all that he could for him now. "I won't be long," he called back to an unconscious Horatio as he ran from the room.

_**Well there it is, fist chapter up. I have totally gone to town in altering the chapter since yesterday, nothing removed just quite a bit added. Sorry if it's quite short but I wanted to keep you waiting. I'm afraid you're going to have to wait until the next chapter to find out what happened to poor Horatio… how cruel am I? Please READ and REVIEW.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 1 **

**Well here it is… the first chapter up. I know I have been a little ambitious in attempting to incorporate French into this chapter, I really wanted to try and capture something of the reality of the period in which 'Hornblower' is set in the same way that the TV show does to such good results. I have done my best with it, I'm afraid that I must admit my French is not that fluent so I apologise to anyone reading this who understands French and finds it to be complete nonsense… there's not too much of it to get to grips with. Thank You.**

**Please READ & REVIEW.**

**_Flashback_**

"_It's over sir, we're surrounded from all sides!" Mathews tried to make himself heard over the impetuous roar of the men and cannon fire. _

"_Her crew are preparing to board." Shouted a young and inexperienced new officer, obviously shaken by his first experiences of the perils of war. He was pale with fear and tinged green with seasickness. He shivered discernibly although whether through nervous panic or the bitter cold of the murky night it was not clear. "Maybe we should surrender now whilst we still have the chance." He continued._

"_That's mutinous talk." Mathews shouted, though not unkindly, before turning to the young man, (barely a boy), his young features haunted by the knowledge of an old man "Come on lad…" he said, "Control yourself," before turning back to the rest of the crew and adding more generally to the men on either side of him, "We will await the captain's orders." _

"_Our duty is to both our captain and our ship." Horblower shouted, "If we are to be boarded then so be it but let us not be so easily turned from our cause."_

"_The captain orders the ship to be prepared for battle sir." A young messenger came running up from the portside of the ship. "We are to fight."_

"_Aye aye." Mathews spoke._

_Away and out of sight from the rest of his crew Captain Pellew drew his pistol with a heavy heart, a grave expression fixed upon his face, he knew their situation was an impossible one, but there really was nothing more left for them to do now but stand and fight._

"_Brace yourselves men." Hornblower spoke calmly in a bid to reassure the crew… and himself for that matter that their well-being was secure despite the fact that they were critically outnumbered, "Let's show the French what the British are made of! Mathews get those cannons loaded!"… and with a brief nod of his head in Horatio's direction Mathews was gone, taking a few of the more experienced crewmen with him to aid him in his cause.._

_The crew of the _Indefatigable_ were still very much in a state of shock, through the impenetrable mist of the cloudy night it had been impossible to see the French ships creeping up on them. Although from the sheer total of French Navel forces now surrounding them it was obvious that their mission had been doomed from the start… they had been betrayed._

"_Je souhaite parler avec votre capitaine!" As a small group of the French crew began to row in closer to the magnificent scale of the _Indefatigable _Hornblower began to notice certain features about the French captain that had previously gone unobserved. He noted that he was a tall, middle-aged man (possibly in his early forties) with only a slight tinge of grey to his hair, and a youthful, if not slightly over-ambitious gleam to his eyes, which gave him an air of malice._

"_Le capitaine est indispose" Hornblower explained "Je suis lefttennant à bord de ce bateau, vous pouvez dire que vous me souhaitez."_

_Hornblower hoped that he could distract the French captain and his men long enough to give Mathews enough time to secure and prepare the canons for battle._

"_Excuse me Sir…" Styles asked, "But what is he saying?"_

"_He wants to speak to the captain." Horatio explained._

"_And?"_

"_I have told him that the captain is indisposed." Horatio grinned "If he wants to say anything he will have to speak to me directly."_

"_By God that's clever of ya sir." Styles praised, "So he actually thinks you're…"_

"_Acting captain of this Ship Styles?… Yes." Horatio turned to face his old friend for just a moment and as their eyes locked in mutual understanding a smile spread over both of their faces._

"_I only hope you can pull this one off Sir." He turned to see that it was Mathews who had whispered over his shoulder. Surprised to see him return so soon he assumed that many of the cannons had already been firmly secured, Mathews was an extremely experienced and efficient seaman. Now a man in his fifties he had started out at sea as a much younger man but had neither the education nor the ambition to rise in the ranks of the British Navel forces, never the less he was still a more valuable crew member to have on board ship than many distinguished officers._

"_So do I," Hornblower commented less confidently this time, before adding more quietly to himself "For all our sakes, so do I."_

"_Nous vous avons et vos hommes ont entouré" the French captain continued, "Nous vous conseillons de vous rendre paisiblement ou nous prendrons votre bateau par la force"_

"_Then we are forced to fight you captain." Hornblower replied with resolve, reverting back to his native English tongue. He certainly wasn't going to surrender and let the _Indefatigable _be taken so easily, and neither were the rest of his men, he could see that written all over their unfaltering expressions._

"_Then so be it." The French captain's thick accent almost masking every clearly thought out word of his English._

"_Mathews are those canons ready?" Hornblower hastened to ask._

"_Yes sir."_

"_Good man. Take as many men as you need, lets see if we can't take out a few of their ships before they take out too many of us… you men stand your ground." He ordered noticing the nervous twitch of a few of the younger crewmembers, not entirely sure they wouldn't make an attempt to run… although quite where to he had no idea._

"_Stand your ground." Archie Kennedy commanded, echoing the words of his best friend. "Otherwise it will be the hangman's noose you'll be facing next, and that is an even more formidable enemy!" _

_With one last glance at the acting lettennant Mathews took about twenty of the men and took up his place on deck ready to await his signal. Hornblower's whole body tensed as he heard the clatter of the French crew's feet as they prepared to board the ship and he realised that bloody battle was an inevitability now._

_Suddenly the French captain appeared before him on deck followed by twenty or so of his men, fully armed. "You will surrender captain." The man spoke yet again in his rich accent._

"_Oh I don't think so." Horatio bluffed. _

"_Then you leave me no choice." In one swift, bold, almost liquid movement the captain drew his sword, as did many of his men._

"_MATHEWS!" Horatio ordered as he prepared to do the same._

"_Aye aye sir." Mathews, fully alert now, responded swiftly to his orders as he no deniably always did, "FIRE!" he ran along the length of the ships deck echoing the order to every man individually. Suddenly a series of deafening explosions ensued as the French ships around them splinted, glass and wood shattered as they were hit with the full force of the heavy metallic shells, the terrified cries and shouts of their many injured survivors rang out into the nights sky. It was strange Hornblower thought that none of them appeared to be prepared for battle. Maybe they had come up against a different enemy earlier that day and been forced to retaliate at the cost of their ammunition… or maybe they had just assumed that they had got them so totally surrounded that they had no choice but to surrender, rationalising that to fire on them unnecessarily would be futile. Either way they had been caught completely off guard._

"_I fancy are chances are now both even captain," Hornblower mused as the French captain raised his sword in defence. Angered he suddenly struck out at Hornblower who dodged his unprecedented attack with characteristic agility before all hell broke loose on deck. The opportune moment had been ceased by the men from both sides, each eager to get at their adversary neither needed convincing twice to advance. Horatio reached for his pistol, taking aim as his adversary did the same, when suddenly and without warning Horatio's uneasy finger slipped off the trigger and the gun went off. The Captain staggered backwards clutching at his chest where the bullet had entered his flesh before overbalancing and toppling over the side… he was dead before he hit the water. Men were falling all around him, some dead, some of them mortally wounded, French and English alike, but for a split second all Horatio could do was stand, leaning over the side of the ship totally lost as he was transfixed by the sight of the dead captain's body floating prone in the water. _

"_SIR!" he heard a shout from behind him and turned to see the blur of a blue uniform as one of the French seamen raced towards him, sword raised to strike. Suddenly Horatio's instinct to survive took over and he drew his second pistol from his belt and fired, for real this time, the man fell to the ground instantly in a collapsed heap, dead. It was only then that he noticed the man who had just saved his life._

"_You alright sir?" Styles asked him concerned, panting slightly and spattered with blood. _

"_Yes, fine. Thank you Styles." He hesitated._

"_That's ok sir." Styles smiled, and the next minute he was gone._

_Horatio drew his sword. Many of the French convoy had already fled, jumping overboard preferring to take their chances in the depths of the salty water below than remain on deck and be cut to pieces most likely. A fare few still remained though, although their numbers were slowly dwindling, it was quickly becoming obvious to everyone aboard that they were now the ones who were outnumbered. _

_Suddenly the crew let out a joyous cry of victory as the remaining Frenchmen scrambled to the sides of the ship and threw themselves over the side. Seeing that their cause was lost and crippled by the loss of their captain they realised that their efforts were in vain. Witnessing the renewed high spirits of the men and the obvious pride outlined in every single one of their faces Hornblower couldn't help but smile. They had done themselves and their captain proud this evening._

_Then without warning the explosion of gun-fire rang out to the night's sky silencing the men in an instant. Horatio didn't notice anything at first, only a massive sensation of pressure as the bullet penetrated his abdomen…then a sudden eruption of pain. His legs buckled from beneath him as he fell to his knees, an expression of shock reflected in his face._

"_HORATIO!" Archie cried, he was beside his friend almost immediately. A movement a few meters away caught the crew's attention and suddenly they were all looking in the direction from where the bullet had come. One of the French officers lay bleeding from a severe head wound, pistol raised, black blood stained the hand that had fired the potentially fatal shot. He laughed maliciously at this new scene of devastation he had caused._

"_Not so smart without your captain now are you?" he snarled with what was to be his last breath. As if almost on impulse Styles drew his sword and, marching across the deck, his face full of suppressed emotion and hatred, ran the man right through._

_The wound didn't bleed seriously at first, only a small patch of blood spatter betrayed the bullets sight of entry, even when the blood began to flow there was relief to see that it did not pour with blood. Even so it was still with a heavy heart that the crew of the _Indefatigable _viewed their commander's current state, the probability of internal injury was just to great to be ignored._

"_We need to inform the captain!" Archie informed the crew above Horatio's cries of pain… even more audible to the men then the moans of those still lying fatally injured scattered about the deck, their bodies already broken it was up to the strength of their souls now whether they were to live or die._

"_I'll stay with him lad." Mathews offered, deeply pale, still in shock himself. "You go inform the captain."_

_Archie wiped away the tears that were rapidly beginning to well up in his eyes, almost blinding him. He tried to say something of comfort to his wounded friend, let him know that help would be prompt, but he found that every time he opened his mouth to say something he just felt sick._

"_For God's sake lad!" Mathews pleaded, and with that Archie turned tail and made his way rapidly to the Captain's cabin._

"_You're going to be OK sir." Mathews tried to reassure him, taking the young officers head in his hands whilst the crew stood around totally unsure of how to handle this situation which had left them feeling so emotionally exposed. Suddenly Horatio's cries quietened as he began to slip into unconsciousness and became the sedate and disorientated sobs of a dying man. Mathews looked up, desperate to see signs of help arriving, fear embedded itself deep into his soul, but the deck suddenly seemed unusually silent and empty tonight. "Everything u'l be alright."_

**Well there it is, my second chapter… hope you enjoyed it, I was up till late last night writing it and have been working on it for much of today as well to get it finished (when I wasn't revising that is). And remember please R&R!**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 2**

**Please, please, please READ & REVIEW!**

The morning's sunlight shone bright through the partially open window of Hornblower's chiefly comfortless and cheerless room, the mood highly influenced by the current condition of its constant occupant. Archie had opened the window by degrees to allow some of the sea air outside to mingle with that of the stale room within in the hope that in some way it might stimulate Horatio's apparently dormant senses and spure him from unconsciousness, but so far the cheery ambience of the dawn outside was still yet to reflect any welcome improvement in the young officer's condition.

The door to the room creaked slightly with age as it was opened with great caution. Archie stirred as heavy booted feet marched across its degrading mahogany floor to come to a halt at the foot of Hornblower's bed. Somehow, despite the events of the previous day, acting Lefttennant Kennedy had yet again managed to fall into a broken and uneasy sleep, but only after sitting up most of the night keeping constant vidual should his friend awake when most would probably be too practically comatosed to notice. He turned in his seat and as the hard wood of the chair he occupied dug painfully into his side, making his ribs throb in protest, he slowly opened his eyes.

"Captain Pellew!" he exclaimed with shock as the figure standing before him cleared into view. He struggled to stand to attention in his groggy state, ashamed that he should be caught napping in the presence of this commander.

"At your ease man, at your ease." Pellew raised a hand in protest and Archie relaxed. "God man you look exhausted." The captain observed as he eyed the man now standing before him.

"Sorry sir."

"Yes well…" Pellew faltered as he gave the young officer one last, long look. He couldn't help but admire the courage Kennedy was exhibiting in retrospect of the current situation that had struck a raw nerve with them all. Quickly changing the topic he turned to look at Horatio. "How is he?" he asked, voice shaking slightly with suppressed grief and the emotional strain that the last few days had put on him.

"Its hard to tell sir." Kennedy responded, " I think he may be a little better though." He smiled hopefully. "His fever's still quite high, but somehow he managed to split his stitches yesterday, and the doctor, when he was called for was reassured it should subside in a day or two."

"Yes I heard about that." Pellew spoke painfully, "A grave business." His face was distorted with worry, his eyes deeply disturbed. Although no longer a young man, he was certainly not old, and having served all his life in His Majesty's Royal Navy he was considerably fit, yet even now he could not disguise how tired he obviously was and it was evident to Archie that, like himself, the captain had not been sleeping properly since this whole bleak incident began.

"He… he still hasn't woken up yet sir."

"Yes well, he's been through quite an ordeal, his body has been crippled by his misfortune but he's survived longer than I've seen men survive such an injury before… he's going to need time to recover his strength before he can be declared fit for duty again."

"Pardon me for asking sir, but you are confident of Mr Hornblower's recovery then?"

"I'm sure Mr Hornblower will surprise us all yet with his remarkable resilience." Pellew responded with passion, remembering the trials overcome by his young officer in the past, but more hopeful than assured of his eventual recovery. "I won't deny Kennedy, by rights that bullet should have killed him… when I first saw him there, well…"

"You saved his life sir." Archie ventured to comment.

"Yes, well, an act of inconsequence for all the times he's risked his own to save mine… and those of my men…"

Suddenly Horatio flinched and let out a pained groan. Pellew turned abruptly, Archie remained where he was, he knew that it meant nothing.

"Come on lad, stay with us." Pellew spoke paternally, taking the young mans hand in his own and leaning over him. "So many men's prayers are riding on your recovery." From his new position he could see for himself just how pale Hornblower was, his skin tinged with grey. He could see the sweat on his brow, black curls plastered to his forehead with fever, and he reached out lightly to touch the clammy surface of his skin with the cool flesh of the back of his hand.

"He can't hear you sir." Archie explained.

The Captain looked up, "How long has he been like this?"

"A couple of hours. I thought it might be a sign of him waking at first sir but… well…"

"Any sign of life can only be a good sign Mr Kennedy," Pellew interjected before rising, his spirits much lifted after beholding even this small sign of movement. "At least it shows he's still fighting for us." Both stood in silence for a moment before he added, "he's a good man Kennedy, take care of him."

"Yes sir."

Pellew turned to leave but stopped abruptly just outside the door before turning back into the room. "Oh and Kennedy, if he wakes, don't tell him I was here." His voice was rough again now, domineering, yet still not so authoritative, though Archie could tell that this was an order not a request.

"Of course not sir."

"Very good," Pellew nodded his farewell, a small smile spreading across his face before quickly vanishing again along with the captain as the door closed behind him.

Archie had spent most of his adult life at sea in the very literal sense of the word, and over the years (although still young) he had come to accept that the price of adventure was often at the cost of life itself, but here on land, turning to look at the motionless figure of his once such brave and loyal friend he suddenly felt totally adrift in this unexpectedly unfamiliar territory.

"My dear friend." He whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 3**

**OK well I've noticed a lot of people reading this story recently but not submitting reviews. Please Please Please tell me how you think this story is progressing by submitting a review as I read them all and it really helps me to improve my writing! Thank You!**

_**Flashback**_

_"MR KENNEDY WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Captain Pellew bellowed at the top of his voice as the young Leftennant came bursting through the door into his cabin. His cheeks were flushed with exertion and his breath was coming out in long raspy gulps as he fought to regain his composure. He was finding that the weakness of his stomach that had afflicted him earlier was by now making him feel increasingly unwell and a hard lump had formed in his throat making it difficult for him to get his words out._

"_Mr Mathews said it should be me who fetched you sir… I'm afraid there's little time to explain!"_

"_Explain what man?" The captain's tone had now softened slightly once he was over the initial shock of having his privacy invaded in such an abrupt manner. But he still spoke with a sternness that made Archie want to choose his words very carefully, had it not been for the question of whether even now Horatio was still fighting for his life.. _

"_I'm afraid its Lefttennant Hornblower sir." Archie explained, the lump in his throat feeling as though it was about to burn a hole through his neck. At this Captain Pellew suddenly went silent. Most of the crew had guessed the great sentiment their captain felt towards the young officer, from the first moment he had met the then seventeen year old Hornblower he had seen something rare and unexpected in him that he had vowed to nurture in any way he could… for the good of his country. "I'm afraid he's been shot sir."_

"_What's his condition?" Pellew asked resignedly, expecting the response to be that one of his best officers… and the man he looked upon as he may look upon his own son, was amongst the fallen. _

"_I don't know sir… he was still fighting true to form when I left him." Archie spoke affectionately, before adding "…but I greatly fear for him."_

_At this Pellew snatched at his only recently removed coat and bade Archie follow him back up the way he had just come. His pace was so fast that Archie was having to work hard to keep up with him, the previous exertion and grief leaving him feel already weak and drained of energy. Not a word was exchanged between them, each was too locked in their own thoughts to notice the other. Captain Pellew paused as he reached the deck, he sunk his head in despair and closed his eyes to the scene of devastation that was evident all about him. It had started to rain and cold wet droplets soaked the dead and alive alike._

"_His over here sir." Archie said leading the way, the Captain followed. Some of the crew had already dispersed from around Hornblower's body at Mathew's orders and were busy tending to the dead and the not so seriously wounded. When Pellew first came into view of the small group of men he noticed Styles and Mathews leaning beside Horatio's limp frame, Mathews' ear pressed close to the young officers mouth as he spoke weakly, and he decided to stand on the side line briefly whist he assessed the mans injuries and weighed up what was to be done. Archie knelt down next to Styles who, noticing the Captain's presence, gave him a respectfully grave look._

"_You did well today sir." Mathews reassured Horatio._

"_I only did my duty Mathews, as did we all." Horatio spoke before turning to Styles, "You saved my life Styles," he forced the words from his mouth with a painful wince. "… Though I fear it was for nothing."_

"_Don't be an idiot Horatio," Archie said when Styles found himself unable to reply "You've come through worse than this.""_

"_Though nothing so painful Archie." Horatio pointed out with a slight cough, forcing a smile. "I'm just so tired now."_

"_You mustn't go to sleep sir." Mathews urged, adjusting the young officers position somewhat in a bid to make him slightly less comfortable, though it was all in vein, Horatio's head and neck went limp in the ageing seaman's arms and he let out a long flow of gentle breath. "Sir? … Sir?" Mathews tried to rouse him. _

"_Horatio?" Archie spoke, trying to remain calm._

_At this Pellew stepped forward, he had allowed his presence to go unnoticed long enough. "Mr Hornblower! Mr Hornblower!"_

"_He still has a pulse sir." Mathews pointed out as he pressed his fingers to Horatio's neck, "It's weak but it's there." He gave a small relieved smile._

"_Right," Pellew suddenly sprung into action "Get him into the sick berth… you men there fetch the surgeon!" He ordered a couple of younger officers, their faces pale with fear and fatigue. _

"_Aye aye sir."_

_As Styles and Kennedy lifted Horatio's weak form, he immediately thrashed out in what appeared to be a sudden burst of pain, bringing him back to a state of forced and uneasy consciousness, gripping the arm of the man closest to him like a vice – as though to let go would be to resign himself to an eternal sleep._

"_Who's that?" he asked weakly as he felt the dry and calloused texture of flesh and bone between his fingers._

"_Mathews sir." His friend spoke in a shaky tone, trying to conceal the almost unbearable combination of fear and worry that was now steadily consuming them all "We're all behind ya sir."_

"_Where's the captain?" Hornblower ventured to ask. Nobody replied at first, all turned dubiously towards their captain, unsure of whether or not he would prefer his presence to remain concealed._

"_I'm here Mr Hornblower." Pellew's voice was as controlled as he could manage under the circumstances._

"_Sir?" Horatio croaked, forcing his eyes open abruptly, only to recoil again as the harsh light of the evening sky above struck him._

"_You did a good job tonight Mr Hornblower." Pellew cleared his throat, reasurring the young officer of his conduct. "I'm proud of you."_

"_It's been an honour to serve with you sir." Hornblower grimaced as further pain gripped his abdomen._

"_Oh don't be ridiculous man!" Pellew spoke harshly now, giving the lefttennant a sidelong glance of concern. "I'm not letting you give up that easily!"_

_Horatio smiled at this, letting out an agonised groan of pain. "I don't know how much longer I can take this sir." He admitted._

"_You'll be just fine sir." Styles encouraged, "You're not through by a long shot yet." The small group of men had, by now, began to move Hornblower steadily to the sick berth, but he seemed totally oblivious until they laid him down in the cot that had hastily been set up for him. Doctor Hepplewhite was already waiting with a small vile of opiate to hand and everybody but Pellew, who was above being ordered around by his crew, and Archie, who simply refused to leave, was ushered out of the room hastily unsure if they would ever see the young officer alive again._

_Getting to work immediately Hepplewhite tried to dish out the required dosage of the sleeping drug to his young patient, who pulled away quickly as the glass corners of the bottle came into contact with his lips, however he did not appear entirely conscious of his actions._

"_Come on Horatio." Archie pleaded to no response, "It'll make you feel better."_

_After a long pause for consideration Pellew spoke up, "Let me do that." He said pointing at the half full bottle of opiate in the surgeon's hand._

"_Are you sure sir?" Hepplewhite asked dubiously._

"_Yes." Came Pellew's curt reply._

"_Very well sir." He replied, handing him the small vile of brown liquid. "I'll leave you to it for a moment," he said leaving Pellew and Archie alone in the room with Horatio._

_Pellew said nothing, he continued to watch an unconscious Horatio, feverish with pain now, as though he were one of his own, all the worry of a grief stricken and concerned father creeping into every fibre of his body. He looked almost peaceful compared to how he had appeared only a few moments ago, it seemed cruel to wake him and make him go through such incredible pain again… but efforts must be focused on saving his life now…_

"_I'm sure he would forgive you sir, if he knew it was for his own good." Archie said, guessing what was troubling his captain… and with that Pellew shook Horatio awake._

_Later Captain Pellew was seen leaving Horatio's room a broken man. As soon as Hepplewhite had lifted Horatio's shirt to reveal the bloody wound both Pellew and Archie had drawn back with shock. They had not expected it to be pleasant, but to see his friend in such a sorry state had almost made Archie sick with grief. The doctor had insisted that the bullet must be removed otherwise the fever would take Horatio before the night was out, but both parties knew that the surgery alone was enough to kill the young officer. A difficult decision had to be made, Pellew had seen such wounds sustained by his men in battle before but none of them had survived very long after the fever had developed and yet never had he seen a single man come through this type of surgery before… he felt as though he was fighting a losing battle with death approaching from both sides. Eventually he had made his decision:_

"_Mr Kennedy… I think it's time we said goodbye now."_

"_Sir?"_

"_I have had to make an impossible decision Mr Kennedy… I agree with the doctor that Mr Hornblower cannot continue with such a fever… and yet I will not deny that the surgery is almost certainly a death sentence in itself," he turned to Doctor Hepplewhite "I consent to the surgery sir… although I accept that if he comes through it well it will be nothing short of a miracle." Before adding, "just… just do all you can." _

_And with a final glance in Horatio's direction he had left, half the man he had woken up as only that morning, leaving Archie to say a final farewell…_


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 4**

**Hey guys, sorry I haven't been keeping on top of this as often as I would like but exams are still on. Hope you enjoy this though and PLEASE READ & REVIEW. I will try and update again soon.**

"Horatio? Horatio?"

Archie leaned above his friend's bed, looking down at him hopefully as he began to stir violently in an apparent state of semi-consciousness, before rushing to the bedroom door in a state of feverish elation to instruct someone… anyone, to inform Captain Pellew that Horatio finally appeared to be showing signs of consciousness. Archie had been busy reading, seated in his usual position in the hard wooden chair pulled up close to Horatio's bedside, and had looked up from his page briefly, pausing mid-flow to inspect his friend. It was nothing more than false hope that had caused him to abandon all idle occupation every time Horatio showed the slightest sign of life, but as he had explained to Captain Pellew a couple of days before he had remained the same over the past few days with still no signs of improvement, and he had reluctantly redirected his gaze back to his book. It had been one Horatio had leant him, and Archie had sought comfort in it, being one of the last gifts his friend had given him. He had found some of it most useful, especially if he hoped to rise to the ranks of Captain someday… if not a little tedious, but at that moment he had found that he had suddenly lost all interest in reading.

He had rose from his seat and flinched as his stiff and aching legs nearly gave way from beneath him. He hadn't eaten and barely drank in days and was feeling the effects of many sleepless nights. There had been no work to do here apart from watch over his friend, and no obvious danger lest Horatio wake up to an empty room and a strange and unfamiliar environment whilst people slept and dined and drank their heavy hearts into a numb ignorance. What did it matter if he had had to sacrifice his health for the sake of life itself?

"Archie." Horatio muttered with a smile as he opened his eyes.

"Shhhh" Archie put his finger to his friends dry lips to silence him but true to form Horatio could not be silenced and with a wince of extreme pain he started to try and elevate himself to a sitting position. "Horatio just lie there and rest a while." Archie spoke softly, applying a gentle pressure to his friend's shoulders and easing him gently back down onto the bed, tears of relief now welling up in his eyes "I can hardly believe you're awake" he muttered quietly, almost to himself.

After that silence lapsed between them for what seemed a very long time and Archie thought that his friend may have fallen asleep.

"I thought I heard you call me in my sleep." Archie finally spoke, unable to bare the silence any longer.

"I did," Horatio responded, much to his friend's surprise, "I guess I just wasn't quite ready," he smiled,

"And now?"

"I'm sick of sleep." Horatio managed a laugh, before weakly adding, "How long have I been out?"

"Close to a month." Archie answered honestly, his lip quivered visibly with emotion making his voice croak slightly as he took a large intake of breath to steady his shattered nerves. "You gave us all such a scare Horatio, so many times we though we had lost you…. I've never known so many of the men so quiet," he added with a smile.

"How are they all?" Horatio asked, thinking back to the evening he had sustained his injury.

"A little subdued maybe," Archie explained. "They'll be all the better to hear that you've finally decided to return to us… physically, most escaped serious injury, just minor cuts and bruises for some of them."

"I'm glad." The young officer smiled at the news.

"The Captain will be relieved to know you are awake." Archie continued.

"What, he's been here?"

"Every day since we docked, he's been a shell of himself for the past few weeks." Archie's voice was full of empathy.

"Poor old Pellew." Horatio grinned affectionately.

"He saved your life."

"I know." He replied, "and I am forever in his debt."

Suddenly there came a knock at the door and Styles and Mathews entered cautiously, smiling broadly at the sight of their superior.

"Sorry to intrude sir," Mathews spoke, "but we had to come and see for ourselves if what people are saying was true."

"No need to apologise Mathews, come in." Horatio's speech was growing stronger by the minute as he was reunited with his loyal friends and crew one by one. "It's good to see you."

"Not 'alf as great as it is to see you sir!" Styles cut it, still grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"I can't tell ya how glad we are to see such an improvement in ya sir!" Mathews continued. "I must admit there was a moment back there when we thought we may have lost ya."

"Yes… well…" Horatio faltered with a small smile.

"Sorry sir, I didn't mean to…" Mathews checked himself, noticing the pain in Hornblower's voice and realising that the events of the past few weeks must still be very fresh and raw in the young officer's mind. Horatio raised a hand in protest, smiling briefly, indicating to Mathews that an apology was not necessary.

"Oh, Mr Kennedy sir before I forget some of the men have been asking for you sir, I think it's regarding the young Mr. Hornblower's condition." Styles said. Both men smiled knowingly.

"Well I had better go and humour them." Archie grinned, "Perish the thought that we should keep them waiting any longer." He joked, "Although I must admit that there has been something vaguely refreshing about their new found calm these past weeks." At this Horatio smiled.

"If you don't mind I'll come with you sir." Styles spoke, "Now that Mr Hornblower seems to be on the road to recovery I have a few things I need to do before my shore leave ends."

Archie nodded, "Will you be ok?" He asked turning to his friend.

"I'll stay with him sir." Mathews offered, "You go do what needs to be done." And with one last glance at Horatio, who nodded briefly to his friend in reassurance, Styles and Kennedy left.

For a while both men sat in silence, then, as soon as Horatio was sure that Archie must by now be a safe distance away from his vicinity he tried yet again to heave himself to a sitting position.

"What are you doing sir?" Mathews asked in sudden shock and concern.

"I'm getting up." Horatio strained to speak above the pain, which was now yet again gripping his abdomen.

"Oh… no sir… I really don't think that's such a good idea." Mathews tried to reason with his superior, starting to panic slightly now, knowing that his words would most likely be wasted before they had even left his lips. "I'm not sure Mr Kennedy would approve." He joked, hoping one last attempt at good humour would inspire Horatio into submission.

"Well he's not here." Horatio pointed out bluntly, the pain lowering his usually high tolerance level that made him so popular amongst his men, "Now help me up."

"Sir?" Mathews pleaded one last time, "this is not the way, you could do yourself further injury."

"That's an order Mathews!" Horatio suddenly barked, and with that the old seaman knew that he was beaten. He gently pulled the covers back from the bed, exposing Horatio's thin and pale legs, thinner than usual, he looked so weak Mathews wondered if he would even be able to support himself let alone walk, but the young officer was determined. He wrapped Horatio's bony arm around his shoulders and heaved him up until they were both standing. Horatio wobbled slightly but Mathews refused to let him fall. Suddenly Horatio pulled away from him abruptly and as Mathews grip was realised with the surprise the young officer stumbled and fell to his knees with a harsh thud.

"DAMN!" Horatio cursed, thumping the mahogany floor with his fist.

"Never mind sir, you'll find your sea legs again in no time." Mathews reassured him as he helped him back into bed, but to his surprise Horatio hardly seemed to hear him as, as his head hit the pillow he was sound asleep. "It's just gonna take time." Mathews whispered as he took Archie's place watching over the young officer, seated in the hard wooden seat. He couldn't help but smile, despite his friend's obvious current frustration and lack of energy, for the first time in a month he felt confidently assured that Horatio would eventually make a full recovery…


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 5**

**OK well I know that in the actual show Doctor Hepplewhite is the _Indefatigable's _medic but for the sake of this fiction I have changed the plot slightly and in this chapter a new medic will be introduced alongside Hepplewhite. I'm not normally a fan of OC fics myself so I hope this works out!**

**Please carry on to READ & REVIEW… as you can probably tell by now I love to receive reviews and find out what people think of my work!**

**_Flashback_**

_Archie had not left his friend's side in days, by some miracle Horatio had come through the surgery to remove the bullet well but the continuing fear of infection and relapse had led the young lefttennant to keep a constant and exhausted vidual over his friend. Horatio had not yet regained consciousness, which was a reason of intense despair for Pellew who blamed himself for consenting to such risky surgery when one of his best officers was in a greatly weakened state. He had spent most of his days residing in the sick berth, keeping a constant and paternal watch over Horatio's sleeping form, it was all he could do to convince Archie to return to his duties on deck. The pair of them learnt to work in shifts with Pellew only leaving his young charge's side during the day to eat (which became a more and more irregular occurrence as time went on) and whenever he was required on deck. Archie took over in the evenings when Pellew returned to his cabin to rest, sleeping close by his friend should he wake in the night… but he never did. _

_Archie still hadn't forgotten the final moment he had spent with Horatio before his surgery. It was one of the most painful moments of his life to know that death lay lurking just around the next corner but totally unaware of when it would see fit to rear its ugly head and steal his friend away from him without even giving him the opportunity to say a proper final farewell… Horatio had by then been so out of it with pain and blood loss even before a generous dosage of opiate had been administered and this was still the cause of many restless nights plagued by nightmares for an exhausted Archie._

_Although, despite the fact that Horatio had shown some encouraging improvements in his physical state over the past few days, and appeared to still be fighting for his life with a strength which surpassed anything exhibited by any of the _Indefatigable's _other courageous crewmembers, something still troubled both Archie and Pellew, refusing to cease praying on their minds._

_Hepplewhite had assigned a young trainee medic to Horatio... 'Kostello'. A man now in his early twenties he was considered by all to be a little old to only just be starting out in the Navy. He was tall, thin, almost emaciated looking and suffered from all the tell tale symptoms of jaundice, obvious from his sickly yellow eyes and the light bronze tinge to his skin, caused by an unhealthy taste for strong drink which he would carry on him constantly and down in excessive amounts every evening without fail. Despite this however he was eager, appeared passionate about people… but was clearly neglecting Horatio's care. The young officer's bandages had not been changed in days and many of his wounds had been left exposed to the open air, fearful of infection Pellew had confronted Hepplewhite on several occasions with little success, but the true extent of the problem had not come to light until almost a week later. _

_Horatio stirred slightly, letting out a faint protest of pain as his conscious mind returned to him, Pellew had been beside him immediately, but Kostello had beaten him to it, opium bottle in hand preparing to pour it's remaining milky brown contents down the young officer's throat. Pellew had thought that he had no choice but to intervene._

"_No!"_

"_Captain Pellew sir get out of my way." The young man had looked at the older officer with forced calm, a malicious gleam passed across his face as he relished on the power he now had over his wounded patient… Pellew had seen it before in so many of his men, he had almost once considered it a natural part of being human at one point, but to witness it in the young medic now standing before him had filled his heart with a horror he had never experienced before… and it scared him. _

"_No! I said no more doctor." Pellew had demanded, pushing his way in front of Kostello as the younger man advanced on Horatio. "That's an order!"_

"_With all due respect sir your not the one who's going to feel the intensity of such a wound like he will if he's allowed to regain consciousness so soon. I'm only trying to do my job!" Kostello had spoken through gritted teeth._

"_Your words are bordering on mutiny man!" Pellew threatened, "I would advise you to revise your tone if you hope to continue your service with me for much longer."_

"_I know my work sir." The young man had protested with defiance._

"_And I know my men!" was Pellew's final response as Kostello had made for the door, before turning abruptly on his Captain once more. "You haven't been in service very long." Pellew cut the man off before he had the chance to speak, "He can cope with this."_

"_Or it could kill him…" Pellew's heart froze as he saw a brief smile spread across the other mans face, before fading again almost immediately to be replaced by a steely look of discontent and Pellew knew that this was a threat. Kostello had left without another word, speech no longer had any baring between the two, everything he had wanted to say had been best expressed through a deeper medium than words. It wasn't in the Captain's nature to jump to hasty conclusions about his men, but it was well recognised by all the crew that the evening Horatio had been shot they had been betrayed and Pellew was suspicious. Kostello was their only newly appointed officer but although it would be to his future regret he decided, at least for the moment and against his own intuition, to conceal his concerns about the young man._

_A couple of days later Horatio's fever spiked dangerously and it was clear to everyone that the worst had happened… infection had set in and now it really was going to take a miracle to save the honoured officers life. Archie had woken in the night to find his friend on the floor, his body convulsing with the cold, his skin was stony pale and burning painfully with the fire of his fever, his cheeks bore the tell tale flush of sickness. _

"_Horatio," Archie had muttered despairingly as he scrambled from his hammock, nearly loosing his footing with the unevenness of the ship as it was carried by the rough waves. He reached his young friend, brushing the dark locks out of his eyes… they were soaking wet. "Shhhh it's OK Horatio, it's OK… just… just wake up now." He strained to speak, terror creeping into his voice as he realised that the prospect of loosing his friend had once again become a reality. "HEPPLEWHITE!" he cried, "DOCTOR HEPPLEWHITE!… SOMEONE!" _

_He heard footsteps running across the hard wooden floor outside and looked up to see the medic enter the room… older and more experienced Archie was relieved to see that it was Hepplewhite himself who had heeded to his desperate calls rather than 'Kostello'… he would not admit it to Pellew but he was highly concerned that Horatio appeared to be showing little sign of improvement under the young mans care. _

"_I just found him like this," Archie explained, his breath was ragged as he struggled to control the gut wrenching panic now twisting at his insides. _

"_Go and fetch the Captain Mr Kennedy!" Hepplewhite had commanded, taking a long look at the quivering form before him before trying to heave the young Hornblower back into bed._

"_Will he be alright?" Archie had asked before leaving the room._

_Hepplewhite froze, glancing gravely at Horatio's exposed wounds. "I don't know Mr Kennedy…" he answered honestly, " it's not looking good for him." And with that Archie had left, his heart and soul shattered, dead inside as he realised that he had known the answer even before he had asked the question._

_Tears began to well up in his eyes as he reached Pellew's cabin but he didn't bother to dry them as he knocked lightly upon the door. He was unsure as to whether the older officer had heard him at first… maybe he was asleep like most of the other men at this time of night, oblivious to the tragedy that was going on not too far down the corridor from them, but to his surprise Pellew's deep voice rang out clearly giving him the order to enter and as he did so he saw his captain sitting at his desk, pen in hand._

"_Mr Kennedy…" Pellew exclaimed with shock._

"_I'm sorry to disturb you sir, but doctor Hepplewhite would like to speak with you."_

"_Can't it wait?" Pellew asked, apparently oblivious to the grief in Archie's voice, "I'm busy."_

"_I'm afraid not sir." Archie sighed and it was only now that the pain in the young officers eyes dawned on Pellew. "It's Leftennant Hornblower sir, I think he may be dyeing." Archie continued._

_At this Pellew raised stiffly from his desk, face pale, eyes fixed wide with agonising expectation, warm tears tricked down Archie's marble cheeks, but still the captain forced himself not to let go of his guard._

"_Come on man," he spoke softly, placing a comforting hand on the younger officers shoulder, "pull yourself together, lets go and find out what can be done." _

_There was no time spent waiting for Pellew to change, despite the unearthly hour he was still decently dressed in his official uniform, looking like he hadn't slept properly in days. The door to his office clicked harshly behind them as they made their way back through the maze of rooms and corridors of the ships lower decks to the medical berth. Hepplewhite stood at the door of Horatio's room tensely waiting for them._

"_How is he?" Pellew asked._

"_I've administered quite a heavy dose of opium so he's sleeping now." The weary doctor explained, "I'm afraid he has developed a pretty severe infection meaning that his fever has reached a dangerous high but I'm hoping that the drugs should help to bring it down… I've dressed the wounds as far as I can but they are going to need regular cleansing for the next few days to eradicate the infection. The only consolation is that the area where the bullet penetrated his body appears quite clear, the poison appears to be largely concentrated around some of the more severe flesh wounds he sustained so fortunately it hasn't gone too deep."_

"_But will he be alright?" Archie pressed urgently._

"_That's very much down to him now I'm afraid." The medic continued, "It's still very early days."_

"_How could you allow him to get into this state?" Archie snapped but Pellew interrupted him._

"_Why did you ask to speak with me?" Now that he was satisfied that Hepplewhite had everything under control, as far as he could possibly have control over a situation where the outcome very much depended on his young patient's fight for life._

"_Well… I'm afraid…" the medic now began to stutter nervously now, "I'm afraid that all this may be my fault."_

"_What do you mean?" Archie asked, but Hepplewhite said very little further._

"_Follow me," he spoke soberly, before turning his back on the two and guiding the small group into another small and dingy room adjoining onto the medical berth. "Things are a little more private in here."_

_It took a while for Archie's eyes to adjust to the dark of the room. There was a small window in the far corner, a set of thick curtains drawn tightly across preventing even the bright glow of the night's stars escaping into the room. Although as his eyes gradually began to adjust and his vision returned to him he recognised that they had stepped into another adjoining bedroom. A strong smell of damp lingered around the vicinity of the near by bed and Archie assumed that it was coming from what appeared to be a pile of old sheets and clothing laid out on top of it. He screwed his nose up in disgust as the sickly sweet smell met with his nostrils._

"_I'm sorry," Hepplewhite abruptly spoke sincerely, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had unconsciously existed between the three since they had entered the room, and it was only now that Archie recognised the heaped mass of jumbled rags for what they really were… sprayed out upon the bed was the figure of a human form… 'Kostello'. He turned to look at Pellew who by now had also noticed the unconscious frame of the young man, his arm thrown carelessly over the edge of the bed, limp and pale._

"_It's too late." Hepplewhite explained, his voice surprisingly shaky with emotion as Pellew began to make his way cautiously over to the young man, "He's already dead."_

"_What? How? How did this happen?" Pellew stammered uncharacteristically in shock. _

"_I found these beside him." Hepplewhite continued, drawing two small empty viles from deep within his coat pocket, traces of the opiate still clinging to their glass rims, trickling down the inside and forming thin puddles of the sticky brown substance at the bottom, "There was no note… you see I guess I always knew really, who betrayed us, that he was neglecting Mr Hornblower's care as soon as he failed to improve, I just didn't want to believe it."_

"_Who was he… really?" Archie asked, still staring blankly at the body of the dead man lying before him, "If it's not to above my position to question."_

"_The son of an old friend of mine." Hepplewhite responded despondently, "I was told he had gone off the rails somewhat, I thought that if I could just get through to him, give him a chance, a sense of responsibility I could make a difference."_

"_But you failed!" Archie suddenly turned on the doctor, "You put all of our lives at risk! And for what? You jeopardised the life of one of our countries best officers!" _

"_I know but he can't do anymore harm now." The disheartened doctor whispered almost to himself._

"_It may already be too late… you saw Horatio just now, the damage has already been done."_

"_But it's not irreversible." _

"_Mr Kennedy where are you going?" Pellew's voice was deep as he noticed Archie as he made for the door._

"_Horatio needs me." Was all the young man said, before he left, unable to bare the stench of death, the volatile atmosphere any longer. His head throbbed painfully as claustrophobia began to set in._

_Finally as the door clicked gently closed behind Archie and the two older men were left alone in the room. Hepplewhite made his was slowly over to the bed, bending down almost as though in prayer as he took hold of Kostello's cold, slightly damp hand, smoothing the pale skin of his bony fingers affectionately. Heavy footsteps could be heard crossing the floor as Pellew joined him, the officer placed a gentle hand on the grief stricken medic's shoulder before quickly pulling away._

"_Thank you." Hepplewhite suddenly turned to Pellew, his cheeks stained with tears, his usually strong and upright disposition abandoned now, to be replaced by candid human weakness._

"_For what?" the captain asked with a slight frown of confusion, although for a moment there was a glimmer of forced surprise in his eyes._

"_For doing what I could not."_

"_I don't know what you mean." Pellew brushed off Hepplewhite's comment abruptly with a brief wave of his hand._

"_There was no suicide note." The doctor spoke knowingly, and at this Pellew's eyes closed in sudden realisation, a grave stony look etched into his face._

"_As you say he can't hurt anybody now." The Captain explained, and with that an eerie silence characterised by mutual understanding and acceptance fell between the two men. Archie sat in the next room, he had resumed his usual position close by Horatio's side, although he could still not bring himself to sleep, and clinging tightly to his friend's warm hand in the hope that it might provoke some positive response he muttered a private prayer to guide them home._


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 6**

**OK well I have finially got round to completing Chapter 6 as you can see. I appologise for it's briefness but I was trying to capture something of the scenes between Horatio and Pellew as they are in the TV episodes... mostly quite short but always conveying something to the point and very distinct about the two characters relationship. Please READ & REVIEW this chapter... it's quite late now and sometimes I do edit as I go along to improve my writing so any reviews may help me in the future, and I just like to know what my readers think half the time! As always I hope you enjoy what you read.**

When Captain Pellew paid Horatio an unexpected visit a few days after he received news that the lefttennant had at last regained consciousness he was relieved, if not a little surprised, to see the young officer awake, perched up, half sitting, half lying in bed, reading. Hornblower's eyes were bright with a familiar eagerness and alert expression as he absorbed each line of the text with a passionate hunger that he had been regretfully devoid of of late, and Pellew's heart gave a leap of relief as the young man turned to look at him, although still dangerously thin and deathly pale, his expression baring every indication of the trials he had recently come through.

"Captain Pellew Sir!" Horatio's voice was hoarse with surprise and lack of recent use as he released his fragile grip on the heavy book, letting it slip with a loud thud to the floor. Horatio winced painfully as the harsh sound met with his ears.

"At your ease man." Pellew reassured the young man with a casual wave of his hand as he bent down to retrieve the heavy encyclopaedia now sprawled out in an undignified manner on the dusty wood floor. "Believe it or not this is a social visit." He smiled as he handed the fallen edition back to Hornblower who accepted it gratefully before carefully marking his page – once he successfully located it again – and placed it gingerly on the bedside table.

"Pardon me if I don't stand to attention sir." He looked up smiling warmly, if not a little regretfully at his captain, "I'm afraid I have rather had to abandon such formalities at late."

"Yes well…" Pellew cleared his throat, acknowledging his lefttennant with a brief nod of his head as he quickly regressed back to his customarily closed disposition. "I would like to say how much better you are looking today."

"Thank you sir." Horatio returned Pellew's brief gesture with a knowing smile.

"Are you feeling better?" The Captain continued awkwardly.

"Very much so sir."

The conversation was brusque with it's untimeliness, although both men shared a mutual understanding and respect for each other that allowed them to say, and understand, much more than could be expressed through words. Pellew took a long hard look around the oppressive interior of the room and grimaced. Although he had admittedly spent much time surrounded by these four decaying walls during the past few weeks it was only now that he recognised the dismal melancholy of the room for what it was. He sighed deeply as he thought of the comfort of the military hospital, but how Hornblower had been too weak to even be considered for transfer once they had docked, and realised that these barely adequate lodgings had served as Horatio's only chance of survival only a few weeks prior.

"Where's Mr Kennedy?" The older officer asked at last.

"I finally persuaded him to take a break from my bedside." Horatio smiled faintly, apparently lost in vivid reflection. "He's down at the docks… sir are you sure this is just a social visit?" He suddenly asked, snapping out of his contemplation abruptly and turning to look at Pellew, a meaningful gleam in his eye.

Pellew gazed at the young officer in front of him, the keen expression crossing over his face, his cheeks still pink with slight fever, his mouth set strong and proud with his own observantness, and sighed, "Nothing gets past you does it Mr Horblower?" he asked with a slight smile.

"I would consider myself a rather poor officer if it did sir." Horatio commented waiting for the Captain to continue.

"I have received orders," Pellew explained, " to make sail for Gibraltar in a few days time… it appears that the board at the admiralty are rather under the impression that we have been at port quite long enough, they are impatient for the _Indefatigable _and her crew to return to the war as soon as possible."

At this the two men stared at each other in uncomfortable contemplation, both expressing a mutual concern as to where this would leave the recovering Horatio, still too weak to return to work but devastated by the knowledge that he may very well need to be left behind.

"How many days?" Horatio asked finally.

"We set sail Friday." Pellew's response was apprehensive, baring every indication of a man torn, unsure of how to possibly resolve such a complex situation. "Tell me Mr Hornblower," he continued at last, "how do you feel about the possibility of being left behind to continue your recuperation here on land?"

"Well I can't say that I'm happy about it sir." The young officer sighed regretfully. "I'm well aware that it could be months before I am able to rejoin your service, I already miss the sea more than I ever thought possible… I don't think I could bare it."

"Yes well," Pellew scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully, "That's understandable."

"It's just so frustrating!" He noticed as Horatio tried to disguise his hands within the bed-sheets as his fists clenched tightly with suppressed irritation.

"Come Mr Hornblower, you've come through much worse before." He commented reassuringly, "And no doubtfully there is worse to come which you will withstand."

"If only I wasn't so weak!" Horatio spoke through gritted teeth as he forced himself higher up in bed, grimacing exhaustingly as he gripped at his stomach, his breath coming in short sharp rasps, "And the pain." He gulped.

"Shhhhh," Pellew let out a steady flow of soft breath as he attempted to comfort the young officer, recognising to his concealed alarm that he wasn't acting quite himself, consumed by the restlessness and fear of a true seaman who had been away from his ship far too long. "Mr Hornblower, just how much time do you think you need?" he asked suddenly.

"I'm not sure I follow you sir." Horatio screwed his face up further in a confused frown.

"Sometimes in order to heal the body, we must first focus on healing the soul." The Captain muttered almost to himself before turning more purposefully to the young officer, "there may be something I can do."

And so it was that they spent the rest of the afternoon in idle conversation. Nothing more was mentioned about what Pellew had really meant when he spoke in terms of the 'body' and 'soul' and Hornblower didn't want to press his superior on such matters. Then a few hours later on Archie's return Pellew left, having given Horatio renewed hope that he would one day soon be walking the decks of the _Indefatigable _although with no indication of how or why. But this mattered not to Hornblower who simply smiled inside at his captain's loyalty, if not a little bewildered by his secrecy.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 7 **

_**FLASHBACK** _

**Hey everyone, thank yiu fir being so patient with me in updating this! I know it's been a long time but I have been struggling to keep on top of updating all my stories latley and I was afraid it was effecting the quality of my writing so I have taken longer in writing this so I can be sure it doesn't go down hill in the last couple of chapters. I hope you enjoy my most recent update, on;y one more chapter to go now! Thanks for sticking with me on this and please carry on to read and REVIEW my work. I love to hear what you think! Anyway, enjoy!**

_As Hepplewhite made his way silently out of Horatio's room a few days after the tragic events of a few evenings previous Archie noticed how tired and pale the older medic looked. Archie himself was exhausted and feeling the severe effects of sleep deprivation as he slipped below deck for a few moments of peace in the hope of receiving an update on his friend's condition before having to return to duty. The news that Horatio's fever had finally broken the day before had come as a relief to everyone aboard the _Indefatigable _and even Captain Pellew had struggled to contain an open gesture of cheer when he heard the news, but the crew's unexpected revelry was still somewhat over shadowed by the knowledge that their young commander was still far from out of the woods yet and there had been a distinct despondency about the way the men had carried out their duties over the past few days. Archie had found very little time to concern himself with his own steadily deteriorating physical condition recently as he loyally divided his time between his duties to his captain and anxiously keeping a close eye on Horatio's condition, lying most nights awake next to his friend until the early hours of the morning, too troubled to allow his exhausted frame to surcome to the encroaching sleep that was now constantly threatening to overcome him. Now as he descended the rotten wooden stairs to where the crew's sleeping quarters and the sick berth were located on the magnificent ship he stumbled on the final step, alerting the approaching Hepplewhite to his presence._

"_Mr Kennedy?" Hepplewhite smiled wearily as he looked up._

"_How's Mr Hornblower?" Archie asked purposefully, forgetting the common courtesy of most polite conversation in his urgency, a renewed resentment for the man flowing through his veins when he remembered how he had jeopardised the life of one of the British Royal Navy's best officers. _

"_No change I'm afraid." The tired medic explained with a grave but vaguely optimistic tone to his voice which gave the young Lefttennant some weak hope of Horatio's eventual recovery. "His fevers still down which is a good sign… at least that's one less thing his body has to cope with, but he still hasn't regained consciousness."_

"_May I see him?" Archie asked._

"For a while." Hepplewhite agreed tersely after a moment. Archie now had very little time before he would have to return to duty and at this turned his back resentfully on the medic as he made his way purposefully towards the ship's hospital berth. Over the past few days he had seen some of the crew stand hesitantly outside the closed wooden door to Horatio's room before anxiously turning away. Most were younger, lower ranking males who under normal circumstances would have had very little to do with Lefttennant Hornblower, although Archie had been pleased to see that both Mathew's and Style's had paid him regular visits and now fully accustomed to his friend's physical condition he entered the room resolutely. Horatio was sleeping soundly, his malnutritioned body stretched out on the bed in the corner of the room, covered by a thin layer of sheeting. Archie reasoned that Hepplewhite must have administered him with a fairly heavy dose of the opium laced drug as the torn and fraying sheets were stained with the blood from the raw surgical wound across Horatio's abdomen, which was now seeping through his bandages, and the pain the young officer would be in could only be described as unbearable. As he pulled up a chair beside his friend's bed his heart gave a leap of suppressed longing and expectation as Horatio let out a murmur of pain, giving a sharp hiss as he gritted his teeth and stirred from unconsciousness for the first time in days.

"_Horatio?" Archie whispered, his voice barely audible as he almost refuised to allow himself to believe what his eyes were telling him._

"_Archie?" Horatio groaned, the other officer spending painful moments sitting in silence as it seemed like an eternity before the wounded Lefttennant's eyes finally flicked open as he suddenly recoiled, grimacing, allowing his eyes to once again adjust to the dull light of the murky room after several agonising days spent in darkness._

"_Horatio." Tears of relief now glistened in Archie's eyes as he looked down at his closest of friends, grinning as he leaned over to touch Horatio's pale and icy hands. Eventually the young Lefttennant turned his head stiffly to face Archie and smiled forcefully, although the physical gesture was strained the emotional intention behind it was anything but fraudulent and there was no doubting its genuineness._

"_I thought we may have lost you." Archie spoke hoarsely, "but I must admit it does seem that you are unstoppable."_

"_I'm afraid there have been many moments over the past week where I thought I may not make it… I fear that my ordeal is not over yet." Horatio rasped, his voice painfully quiet as his weak body waned under the severity of his injuries and lack of energy._

_At that moment there came a loud clatter outside the door and both men turned as Hepplewhite entered, his cheeks flushed with exertion, he looked as though he had returned to his usual station in the sick berth in haste after for filling whatever unknown errand he had been setting out to run when Archie had met with him in the corridor._

"_I'm afraid they need you back on deck Mr Kennedy." He informed the Lefttennant as he made his way over to Horatio's bedside, failing at first to notice his young charge's current state of consciousness. Suddenly Horatio let out a loud groan as he began to gasp frantically for breath, his eyes rolling backwards into his skull as his lids closed despairingly once more, alerting the medic to his condition._

"_How long has he been awake?" Hepplewhite asked Archie urgently as he raised from his seat in sudden shock at the strange turn his fellow officer's condition appeared to have taken._

"_Not long… only a few minutes." Archie faltered. "What's wrong with him? He was just talking to me."_

"_He's burning up." Hepplewhite determined as he placed his palm against Horatio's pale forehead, before pulling back the bloodied bandages dressing his abdomen to reveal a large area of angry red flesh around the wound, encrusted with green and yellow puss. "The infections spreading."_

"_Horatio?" Archie asked with concern as his friend continued to groan in his sickness._

"_I'll see to him Mr Kennedy, don't you worry." Hepplewhite reassured the young officer. "Return to your duty."_

"_But…"_

"_Those are your orders sir." The medic insisted, although not unsympathetically, and with that Archie reasoned that he would not be doing himself and especially Horatio any favours if he got himself court martialed now. It was despite his reservations at leaving his friend's side that he pulled the door tightly closed behind him before weaving his way through the maze of people and corridors below deck almost in a daze, finding himself out in the open breathing in the fresh, salty sea air once more._

"_What's going on Mathews?" he asked as, noticing the old seaman he was brought back to reality by the commotion that not met with his ears. As he became more open to the busy and frantic movements of the crew around him he noticed some of the men standing at the ship's edge looking out to sea. The diamond gleam of the water's surface reflected in their eyes as Archie imagined it may have done all those years ago when they had initially boarded their first royal ship as mere boys, their childish hearts no more prepared for service than a new born baby is prepared for life itself._

"_It's land sir." Mathews turned to him grinning, his cheeks rosy as he joined in with the crew's hearty cheers of elation. "We've spotted land."_

"_That's brilliant." Archie beamed, "British or foreign?"_

"_Portsmouth we think Sir." Mathews informed his superior._

_At this Archie found himself unable to respond, the air caught in his lungs and throat as he breathed a heavy sigh of relief, his stomach churning as his limbs burned with the adrenaline now flowing through his veins like acid, mixing with his blood as it travelled to every exhausted part of his body. Suddenly he felt a heavy hand being placed upon his shoulder and turned to see Hepplewhite where he had appeared behind him, a grave expression fixed upon his face._

"_Oh God… no." Archie muttered under his breath, shaking his head as he refused to believe what he knew was only inevitable… the ships surgeon must have followed him up on deck as he had left him with Horatio._

"_I'm afraid he does not have much time." Hepplewhite explained with painful bluntness, seeing no pint in delaying the delivery of the news._

"_How long?" Archie asked._

"_I can't tell for sure," he continued, "He's still very much in and out of consciousness, but in his current condition I would say he has a matter of hours at the most if we don't reach land soon."_

"_Right." Archie acknowledged the medic's response "How long till we dock?" he asked as he purposefully began to make his way back below deck._

"_It's hard to tell… a couple of hours maybe." Mathews replied. "Where are you going?"_

"_To be with him… if this really id the end I'm not going to let him die alone." Archie choked. "Mathews inform the Captain of the current situation, see if you can't get him to speed us up a little."_

"_Aye aye sir."_

"_Hepplewhite come with me, I'm not letting Horatio give up that easily." Archie spoke, closing his eyes in silent prayer that after days spent fighting Horatio could hold on a few hours longer, especially as the _Indefatigable _now had land firmly within her sights… although it was with a heavy heart that he returned to the sick berth that fateful afternoon, sick with premature grief._

**Well there you have it! PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 8**

**At last I finally completed this story! Sorry it's taken so long but I always frind final chapters the hardest to write. I'm sorry if this is not up to my usual standard, I've found it so tough to get this completed that I've had to deviate slightly from my original plan... but hopefully it's not too terrible. I may make some alterations and improvments in the future as and when they come to me but I'm currenly working on updating another 3 stories and have a 4th in preparation so I just don't have the time to spend ages on this story alone. Anyway I hope you still enjoy what you read and please don't forget to REVIEW I do love to read what you think of my work.**

Rain pattered relentlessly off the window of Horatio's small melancholy room as the young Lefttennant winced painfully at the harsh sound of his heavy oaken travelling case being dragged across the room. The coarse material of his rich blue Navel uniform lay awkwardly against his pale skin, making the many raw scars still covering his chest and abdomen itch and burn uncomfortably. Although as he looked up at Archie, who now stood only a few paces across the room from him, he struggled to disguise any subtle signs of his growing discomfort as his friend aimed a concerned glance in his direction before resuming packing many of Horatio's meagre positions into the varnished wooden trunk.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Archie suddenly asked, turning to Horatio as he began emptying an ageing chest of draws of their insubstantial contents… consisting of a couple of spare uniform shirts, once a delicate white though now sporting an ugly yellow tinge from the many weeks of neglect, and a pair of dirty brown gloves fraying at the fingers, giving off the distinct impression that they had certainly seen better days.

"Tired…" Horatio responded drowsily, his eyelids heavy with the permanent exhaustion which still persistently afflicted him. "But glad to be seeing the back of this place." He smiled contently as he glanced absentmindedly around the small enclosed space of the room which he had come to know as 'home' over the past few weeks during his recuperation.

The news that he would in fact be returning to the _Indefatigable _before the week was out had come as an unexpected deliverance to everyone close to the young Lefttennant, who had all grown increasingly concerned that, his body already weakened, his mind may eventually go the same way without the unpredictable familiarity of a life at sea to keep his soul alight and the adrenaline pumping in his veins.

Archie smiled. "It will certainly be refreshing to see the interior of a ship again." He responded as he loaded the last of Horatio's belongings into the trunk before firmly locking the heavy lid into place.

"Good old Pellew." Horatio sighed cheerily as Archie drew up the hard wooden seat and sat down next to where he was perched precariously on the edge of the bed. "It must have taken great powers of persuasion to convince the panel of officials to permit me aboard, even as a known wounded officer, when I fear I am going to be a burdensome liability for some while yet." His tone became suddenly regretful, although not ungrateful, as he aimed a silent look of relieved contemplation at Archie before turning away.

"You're one of the best." Archie explained, gently patting Horatio reassuringly on the back before continuing, "Besides you're growing stronger by the day."

"I can barely walk three paces across the room unaided," Horatio growled in frustrated response.

"Which is two better than a few days ago." Archie informed his friend, refusing to allow him to become downhearted so easily, "and you can't expect recovery to come so readily after all you've been through. Your body needs time to readjust… I don't know how you managed it, but it's a miracle you even came through long enough to get this far."

"I know." Horatio uttered distractedly as he turned to face his friend, "I thought so much about death during those few brief moments of consciousness I endured during the aftermath that all this now… it just seems so impossible."

"Well impossible or not," Archie laughed, "you're an example to us all." He clapped Horatio heartedly on the knee. In that moment Horatio looked as though he may have been about to respond to his friend's cheer before a momentary knock at the door echoed through the small lodgings, cutting them both short as Archie rose to answer it.

The creaky protest of rusting hinges screamed out as the young Lefttennant carefully eased the door ajar before hastily ushering a somewhat jubilant Mathews into the room, closely followed by Styles. Their cheeks were flushed from the cold air outside, although their step purposeful as they rubbed their blackened fingers vigorously in an attempt to restore the restricted blood flow. Horatio smiled contentedly at the site of his two loyal friends.

"The Captain's sent a carriage sir." Mathews explained through bouts of shivers, "The driver's waiting downstairs."

"Thank you Mathews, Styles." Archie smiled in gratitude, turning to each of the men individually. "You look frozen." He observed.

"Arrr it's nothing sir." Mathews brushed off his superiors concern with a subtle wave of his hand. "You get to live a life at sea as long as I have you soon become immune to the cold… there's always some poor sod out there worse off than yourself." He explained dismissively, although his body language significantly suggested otherwise.

"We'll just grab Mr Hornblower's sea chest." Styles interjected. "Not long left on this stagnant land now." He continued before moving closer into the room to help Mathews lift Horatio's luggage as Archie closed to door tightly behind him.

Suddenly Horatio spoke, "I'm afraid I never expressed my gratitude to you both." He muttered weakly as the two men aimed a concerned glance in their young commanders direction, their attentions immediately diverted to his fragile form as the unexpected sound of his voice resided in the room. "I am truly indebted to you for all that you have done for me."

"A minor servitude sir." Mathews' tone became audibly reflective as he tuned to his superior.

"Even so it would have been a bitter victory for you Styles," Horatio continued, turning to the middle-aged seaman, "to have saved my life only to have me fall at the second hurdle."

"I always knew you'd come through sir." Styles forced a meek smile in response before reverting back to the task in hand.

At that moment Horatio made a sudden effort to ease himself from his current resting position on the edge of the bed, flinching painfully at the pressure as he felt the weight of his heavy navel uniform against his body.

"Don't push yourself too hard too soon." Archie eased, his soft and contented tone drifting across from the other side of the room as he made his way over to his friend's side. "There's no hurry. Pellew was explicit, your place aboard the _Indefatigable _is secure. All you need to focus on is getting better." At this the two men exchanged a smile of mutual understanding and a newly established respect and gratitude towards each other.

"Sir, the Captains waiting." Mathews suddenly spoke, his informative manner spurring both Lefttennants back to reality as they turned to glance in the old seaman's direction. "We'll send on ahead that you're on your way." He continued, before he and Styles finally left, the heavy thump of Horatio's sea chest audible as it impacted forcefully with the sturdy oak stairs outside.

After, the pair continued to sit in silence for a while, seeking comfort in each other's company as a new sense of tranquillity swept through the room before they were to return to the relentless blustering cacophony of a life at sea. Suddenly the mood was shattered as Archie rose, "Well are you ready?" he smiled, turning to Horatio as, to his peace of mind, he noticed an expression of relieved contentment enshroud his friend's still painfully tired features.

Horatio nodded, "I'm ready." He replied at last.

"Then it's time." He responded as he removed a large woven blanket from the end of the bed, before discretely placing the rolled-up bundle under his arm.

The pace was slow as Archie struggled to support Horatio as they descended the steep staircase down to the pavement below. An icy breeze swept through the hallway and up the narrow stairwell as they neared the gaping doorway at the bottom, Horatio's body contorting in spasms as it caressed his pale skin, making him shiver violently. As they neared the bottom Archie could just make out the hazy silhouette of a large, enclosed horse-drawn carriage through the pent entrance ahead as it's driver made to join them. His ageing form slightly unsteady as he stumbled up the partially rotting and uneven staircase, before proceeding to assist the two men into the welcoming womb of the coach. Once comfortably seated Archie draped the fraying blanket gingerly over his friend's bony knees.

"Thank You." Horatio whispered weakly.

"For what?" Archie raised an eyebrow in question as a subtle smile suddenly framed his lips, "It's only a blanket." But Horatio had already drifted off into an easy and contented sleep, leaving their journey to pass uneventfully as Archie continued to keep a cautious eye over his friend's unconscious form – now fully convinced that Horatio would eventually make a full recovery. He closed his eyes for a brief moment before turning to glance reminiscently out of the window as he contemplated all that they had come through together… and all that was still destined to be, and as the coach suddenly came to an abrupt halt in that moment he recited a silent prayer to God that at last they were going home…

**_END_**


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